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A fleeting encounter in Chiang Mai

I’ve been in Chiang Mai for almost two weeks, bunking down in a private apartment near the university district and heading to the muay thai gym four times a week. Training in 30C+ heat after a long jog under the blazing mid-afternoon sun can give one a rude awakening about one’s fitness. Determined as I am to improve my conditioning and drop some weight, I have to gather all my mental resources when my legs alternate between jelly and lead. Yet every evening as I lie on the massage mat and get rubbed down after training, I feel great.

We chose Chiang Mai due to it’s far less seedy atmosphere than the likes of Bangkok or Phuket. My fledging thai language study doesn’t allow us to properly integrate with the locals but we do at least see how normal thais live. We find a farang-friendly riverside bar near the Old Town and take a well-earned break to watch live music.


This whole country has an hormone imbalance in the current generation. For the most part the women are cute and feminine but there is an absolute abundance of lesbians. Little frumpy girls with short quiffed hair and serious expressions. There’s probably ten times as many as would naturally occur. The men are a joke. Except for those small oasis of muay thai gyms, there is barely a milligram of testosterone in the whole country, of the younger generation at least. The men are all skinny, weak, mincing push-overs supplicating desperately to the women. Ugh.

Brutus and I get a drink and install ourselves against a pillar to watch the band as they run through a set of Greenday and Republica covers. There’s a din of light-hearted chat and the pub is bathed in a warm glow. We already stand out from everyone else. Apart from their obvious physical differences, the thai men are determined to wreck their intrigue and vibe by shamelessly pandering to the girls and then jumping up and down to the music in the vain hope they score by being “fun”. The few farang are seriously creepy. One such low-life is blatantly angling to touch-up and probably date-rape a wasted-drunk local girl. Others are breaking out into short solo dances then value-scanning the bar to see if any girls noticed.

Reconstructed with actors

We ignore them all. Just watch the band and talk to ourselves.

I see a smoking hot local girl with exactly the balance between beautiful and sexy. A swishy polka-dotted summer dress flows from her figure, her long tresses of black hair are softly pulled back into a ponytail, and she has on big fat black geek spectacles. Her whole aura exudes elegance. My blood bubbles. This is the girl for me. Within a few minutes she walks past with her plain friend so I turn and stop them. It’s loud, the English is strained so after a minute I say thank you and turn back to the music. But it’s long enough to make a favourable impression. She returns to her group on the veranda by the river.

Ten minutes later she manoeuvres near to us on one side, then the other. I feign inattention. Another ten minutes and she’s back again so this time I say hello and offer her a spot in front of me. She begins a pleasing gyrating dance that is the right side of slutty. She’s showing me how sexy she is without slippy over into attention whoring. Again I feign indifferences. She stops, confused. She restarts the dance, and so on. Ten minutes of me gazing over her to attend to the band and I finally talk to her. She jumps at it. I confirm not only does she fancy me but she’s not just trying to tool me. I like her more at this juncture. She’s the most suitable girl I’ve met since my arrival.

Ok, you've convinced me

She has to rejoin her group of three friends and an old Korean guy who seems to be some kind of esteemed guest that they are showing around. As the night winds down I decide I’ll have her but I’m certain it won’t be tonight. Too much social pressure and her vibe wasn’t “fuck me” it was “I like you”. Brutus and I decamp to the veranda and for the next quarter hour the girl keeps stealing glances at me and smiling. Surrepticiously she lets me break her off from her group for long enough to exchange details. For the first time in a month I’m having a strong physiological response. My heart is beating faster when I look at her and I’m absorbed in her manner and beauty. That does not usually happen.

Fate has put this onto the backburner. She texts me the next day to say she’s in the airport on her way back to Bangkok. Still, it’s always enlivening to share romantic moments with a real woman.

3 responses

  1. DoesNotMatter

    Don’t have so much contempt for the Thai men, count! This contempt for the local men is something I see very commonly in white men when they have is very easy with the local women. I see this among white men in Japan as well. You have contempt for them while you should be thanking your stars.
    AS a thought experiment, Suppose you were in India instead. Let’s also assume you would be able to score with Indian women the way you score with thai women. I have no doubt you will be able to out game Indian men. But here’s the kicker, there is a real chance you will get physically hurt. That’s right. If you are too successful with Indian women in India, Indian men will absolutely hurt you……physically. I guarantee it. It may happen in the bar, or it might happen in the street. Someone might just slash you in a crowded street or throw acid on your face. We are kinda tribal that way. Call Indian men what you may, boorish, dirty, uncivilized, ill mannered, whatever. But you cannot say that they will simply stand by seeing you score with their women while they get to party with their palm. They can be quite aggressive in a very bad way. Remember how early in your gaming career, you wanted to avoid muslim girls for the same reason.
    Anyway, whatever it is you are doing with the women in thailand, I swear to God you cannot do that in Iran under the Ayatollah’s watch. So it’s good karma for you to show some empathy for the feminine mannerisms of Thai men and not have so much contempt for them.

    [Aggressively sneak-attacking more successful men is a loser’s mentality. A winner would look at better men and try to learn from it. From what you write, Indian men sound like pathetic passive-aggressive losers who don’t dare have a straight confrontation. I don’t know how accurate this is. This sounds rather different to the brave local fighters Wellington commanded in his Indian campaign. I only know one Indian and he doesn’t have these characteristics you describe. He’s a normal guy.

    The thai male behaviour has to be seen to be believed. I love thailand but the culture is committing suicide. I’d rather it had manly men (and thus tougher competition for me) and could keep itself together. I don’t have contempt for Thai men per say (like I mention in muay thai gyms they are manly), I have contempt for simpering beta losers who are wrecking their own country with such loserness CC.]

    March 9, 2012 at 1:17 pm

    • DoesNotMatter

      Indian men abroad are not so bad. Once they come in touch with foreign cultures, they do learn. Indian men in India are a completely different story however. Their attitude to sexuality is tribal. Not so far away from the Islamic cultures. Now most Indian men will not sneak attack you. But the minority who sneak-attack are there and if you stay long enough in India (say 3 months) succeeding with the local women, you will encounter one of them. Some of these are local hoods. Some might even be affiliated with political parties who try to promote their own version of morality which somehow concerns itself only with sex (not corruption, not stealing etc…just sex). When it comes to sexuality, India is an unmitigated disaster. How many PUAs do you know who venture there? Fact is an Indian male does not see a casanova as a better man! So there is no question of learning from him. If you visit India, you will see what I mean. Anyway enough about India.

      I too noticed Thai men being very painfully shy when I was there. Kudos on your preference for tougher competition via more manly men. Why do you feel thai culture is committing suicide? Aren’t they having enough kids? Perhaps you could consider sharing your knowledge regarding women with some of the local thai men? Perhaps the seed of manliness will spread from there.

      March 10, 2012 at 3:28 pm

  2. Soma

    Have you borne witness to any of the local pop culture? Television, films, music videos and even commercials all glorify extreme beta male behaviour and the pedestalization of women. It’s painful to watch any of it. I haven’t noticed the lesbian thing much in the rest of the country; maybe it’s a Chiang Mai phenomenon. Ladyboys, on the other hand…

    March 13, 2012 at 10:25 am

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